Thursday, December 4, 2014

Blogging Survivor: San Juan del Sur - "I ate 58 chicken nuggets in five minutes in an eatin' contest once"

This week's episode began with Keith trying to convince Reed to join up with his alliance.

Keith "Reed's a gamer. He plays and he knows how to talk to folks and figure stuff out...Mathematic numbers and all that mess, which is way above me."

To be fair, most country music lyrics are way above Keith Nale

The Reward Challenge saw the tribe divide into two teams, swim out to a platform, dive back into the water to collect puzzle pieces, and then put that puzzle together as a team the fastest.

Jon, Jaclyn, Reed and Alec all won the reward, which allowed them to take baseball supplies to Nicaraguan children and get to eat their fill of baseball themed food.

Missy either really wanted to shove her mouth full of wieners or participate in the "do good" part of the reward, so Reed politely gave up his reward to her.

However, Reed had ulterior motives, as he really just wanted some time alone with Keith, but only in a semi-sexual way.

Reed actually just wanted to work the crowd against Jon while he, Jaclyn and Missy were away, but the sex with Reed was so good that he just couldn't pass it up.

In a not so generous display, the winners sent Wes to Exile Island under the guise that he could "look for the Idol."

Unbeknownst to Wes, Exile Island was as barren as Jaclyn when it came to Idols, who had acknowledged that she was born with a medical condition that left her unable to have baby with Jon, and possibly not any other white guys.

Baylor and Natalie used the clue that they found in Keith's sack to look for the Hidden Immunity Idol. Sure enough, Natalie found it, and in her new found confidence began to target Reed for eviction.

At the Immunity Challenge, the contestants had to hold themselves up with just their heels on a handle and their hands above their head without falling off.

For some reason, Baylor Wilson's pose for the competition kind of got me excited. 

Jeff also tempted the contestants with food to get them to voluntarily drop out.

For some reason Missy was way too happy to drop out of the competition without even soliciting a food reward, and when she talked out loud about walking in the sand as her reward her daughter Baylor scolded, "Mom, shut your mouth, OMG!"

A man after my own heart, Wes elected to drop out of the Immunity Challenge for chicken wings and beers even though he was anything but safe heading into Tribal Council.

His dad Keith tried to explain his decision by saying, "Maybe a food weakness...I'm going to have a little father son after we're through with this."

In true Survivor cast fashion, it turned out that Wes was just trying to use the show to promote himself as a competitive eater as he declared, "I ate 58 chicken nuggets in five minutes in an eatin' contest once.

That caused Jeff Probst to gasp, "You ate how many whats and won what?"

And when Wes affirmed it was "58 chicken nuggets (and that he won) the chicken nugget eatin' contest," Jeff asked the only natural question, "Is that an annual event?"

Sadly, in the South a "chicken nugget eatin' contest is generally just considered "lunch." 

The final two competitors were Natalie and Reed. However, Natalie actually asked Jeff if he would give her pizza, chicken wings, water and beer in order to drop out.

By that point I didn't know what was more surprising...The fact that Jeff actually met her demands and brought all of those foods to her, or that a big girl like Natalie didn't ask for an additional side of beef and three bottles of ranch dressing.

While Natalie could barely even walk to get her prize, Reed celebrated by doing the splits and yelling,"Jeff, It's a dream come true!"

Reed Kelly on Survivor: Ta-Da bitches!

Feeling frisky, Reed wanted to target Jon for feeling too confident and stepping down early, and as it turned out, Reed, Keith, Alec and Wes all also wanted to vote him out.

At Tribal Council, most of the early talk centered around who had an Idol, as one had yet to be played all season.

However, when Reed began giving a spiel to "stick to the plan," Natalie picked up that something was wrong and mouthed to Jaclyn, "Do you trust him?"

And when Jaclyn replied, "No," Natalie  said to Keith, "We'll go with you guys."

But for some reason Keith said, "No," which left the players all scrambling to figure out what the fuck was going on even as the vote began.

With so much uncertainty in the air, Natalie told Jon just before the vote, "Dude, play your Idol."

That turned out to be great advice, as not only did Jon decide to play his Idol, but so did Keith.

And while Keith offered his Idol to his son Wes, he declined it.

Sure enough, the majority of the votes went Jon and Keith, which were all rendered void by their Idols. The only votes that counted went to Wes, who was voted out by default.


Tuesday, December 2, 2014

Blogging Survivor: San Juan del Sur - "It's a big rookie mistake. Don't leave something in your bag that you don't want people to find."

This week's episode began with with Jon trying to do damage control after being convinced by his girlfriend Jaclyn to vote Josh out.

Dale, who was either chewing dirt or somehow managed to sneak a month's supply of Skoal into the game, was plenty of pissed off about it.

He even went as far as to say that he'd consider trying to get people to vote for him just so he could play his Idol to try and screw Jon and Jaclyn over, which is the type of thing that happens when you put Southerners on Survivor.

The Reward Challenge divided the tribe into two teams that put their players up against each other in one on one wrestling matches to knock their opponent off of a balancing beam and into a mud pit.

Southern boy Wes started out against Reed, the gay dancer from New York City, who sent Wes face first into the mud.

However, Wes treated Reed like the woman he aspires to be in their rematch by slapping at him while he screamed in defeat, but refused to press charges...Just like any good Southern woman.

Speaking of good Southern Women, few people know that Baylor Wilson once dated Brandon Hantz. 

Ex-Michigan State football player Jon Misch destroyed Jeremy twice to tie the game at 4, with the winners needing 5 victories to win a boat cruise with unlimited sandwiches.

So far, the once undersized linebacker known as Jon "The Missile" Misch has destroyed bigger opponents Jeremy and John Rocker in head to head physical challenges. 
Baylor fought her mom for the second time this season in a challenge, and while Missy let Baylor win out of sympathy the first time, Baylor knocked her mom off with a clean.

With the match tied at four, the finals was a re-match between Missy and Baylor, with Baylor once again using her mom's instability to her advantage, with the only surprise being that the instability was physical, and not mental.

In a big surprise, Natalie volunteered to give her reward up to Jon, while Jeremy gave his reward up to Jaclyn, giving the swing vote power couple a reward together even though their team had lost.

Natalie explained her decision as being a show of respect, explaining how she was nervous at the last Tribal Council before Jon voted along with her.

As a "reward," the winners decided to send Jeremy to Exile Island so he could try to find the Idol that Jon already had.

Reed for one was not happy to have Jon and Jaclyn along on the reward cruise with the rest of the winners.

"It makes me want to hurl...I might stir up a little chaos in the game right now. It might be the last thing written on my coffin, but I'm willing to take that risk."

The Immunity Challenge required the players to untangle a rope, and then stack blocks in order to raise a flag...Using only their feet.

Baylor ended up winning over the next closest competitor, Reed, to protect herself and leave Reed as the most useless woman left in the game without some form of Immunity.

However, while fondling Keith's bag, Reed accidentally stumbled across his Immunity Idol clue.

That caused Reed to say, "It's a big rookie mistake. Don't leave something in your bag that you don't want people to find."

Reed Kelly actually wanted somebody to find that dollar. 

And while Reed tried to sell Keith out based upon what he found, not everyone was buying it.

Or as Baylor said, "Reed thinks Keith, of all people, has the Idol, which is baffling."

Meanwhile, Jeremy tried to sell Natalie on his belief that Jon had an Idol heading into Tribal Council.

At Tribal Council, Jaclyn and Jon called out Wes and Keith out for not talking to the females in the game, while still expecting to get their vote.

But in a blindside, Jeremy was the one who was voted out, as Jon, Jaclyn, Baylor and Missy all voted against their fellow alliance member.

Of course, by failing to clue Natalie in on their plan, Jon and Jaclyn may have opened her up to the prospect of jumping alliances and making it a 5-5 game instead of 6-4, so stay tuned.

Blogging Survivor: San Juan del Sur - "Why couldn't you just poop?"

This week's episode began with the Huyopa tribe pissed that Julie quit the game, mainly because both alliances wanted the pleasure of voting her selfish and racist ass out themselves.

I'm thinking that with a few "stars and bars," Julie McGee could be just as popular as her boyfriend John Rocker playing the role of  "Redneck Wonder Woman," who wears only body paint instead of a costume, of course. 

That left Jon and Jaclyn reconsidering whether they should blindside Jeremy instead of voting Josh out as they had planned before Julie left.

The Reward Challenge had the tribe divide into two teams, load puzzle pieces on a cart, and then use those pieces to build a pyramid to help hoist up a statue and raise a victory flag.

The winners, Keith, Jeremy, Wes, Reed and Natalie all ended up winning reward over the girls, and elected to send Jon to Exile Island.

With the reward being a taco bar, it sent the winners on a run to the border, or at least to a place in the woods.

However, it wasn't that easy for everybody, as Wes literally ate as many burritos and drank as many margaritas as he could until he he plugged his sewage line, so to speak.

And with Wes' gas getting worse and worse, the winners' reward seemed more like a punishment, or as Baylor asked, "Why couldn't you just poop?"

Jeremy admitted that he was no stranger to the gas working in a fire station, but took issue with Wes' flatulence from an etiquette standpoint. "As soon as a woman comes in the room you shut it down."

Wes Nale's gas...Well, so much for the myth of the "Southern Gentleman."

Back at camp, the losers dined on beach snails and coconut water, which is slightly less disgusting than the high end coconut water you can buy at stores for like $3 a carton to prevent hangovers.

Josh approached Baylor and told her that she "owed" him at least one vote for keeping her afloat earlier in the game, which Baylor wasn't having no matter how bitchy and gay Josh was.

Wes' dad, Keith, proved that the Southern Gentleman apple doesn't fall far from the trees at Toomer's Corner when he got fed up with what he perceived was Baylor being lazy.

"If you were my kid, you would have done got whooped about seven times by now."

Of course, he did nothing about his son turning San Juan del Sur into one of world's top CO2 emitters.

In all fairness to Keith, in the South men are raised to believe that women and African Americans should do all of the work, while white guys get to sit around listening to Alabama and dreaming about the good ole' days when they didn't have to work.

This couple represents to rise of the South during the Civil War, and then their disappointing surrender at Appomattox. 

With Jon away at Exile Island, Keith's reluctance to include any of the women in his strategy talk rubbed his girlfriend Jaclyn the wrong way, who still stood to be the co-swing vote along with Jon.

Of course, Jon found a clue to the hidden Immunity Idol at Exile Island, and sure enough he found it, giving Jaclyn and himself even more security.

The Immunity Challenge required the contestants to memorize a series of symbols that were flashed by Jeff Probst and then recite them back in the correct order.

Jeremy ended up defeating Josh for Individual Immunity, which likely kept him from getting blindsided.

Upon returning, Jon not only hugged Jaclyn, but he seductively whispered in her ear, "I have the Idol," which just made Reed jealous.

While Josh, Reed, Alec and Keith all wanted to target Baylor, Jaclyn lobbied Jon to turn on Josh since he and the other the guys ignored her while he was gone.

Meanwhile, Keith told Missy, Baylor's mom, that he wanted Baylor out of the game. Of course, when word got back to Baylor she said, "He's not very smart."

At Tribal Council, when Wes was asked if the alliances were known, he literally shot his wad.

"I think the alliances are known. Me Josh, Reed and Alec teamed up with dad, and I felt like it was known to people that we was working together type."

However, with the guys getting a bit overly confident, Jaclyn took a shit in their Easter basket and called them out for not respecting her.

That caused Missy to jump in and call out Wes and Alec. "They literally belch, fart, spit...They don't care if there's females there or not."

With his son on the spot, Keith jumped in to save what was left of his family's reputation.

"We're not at the Hilton Missy, and I haven't heard Wesley fart lately or spit...I've had a little bit of gas. I'm sure everybody on this panel has had gas...This is Survivor...You're going to get dirty, you're going to get nasty and have gas."

Once again, Keith Nale was there to save his son's redneck ass. 

As is always the case with pretty girls, Jaclyn got her way as she convinced Jon to vote Josh out, who went home over Baylor, 6-5.

That made Josh the first member of the Jury, and left his boyfriend Reed scrambling to figure out who the next most famous guy in the tribe was so he could try and hook up with him.

Sunday, November 9, 2014

Blogging Survivor: San Juan del Sur - "Kids go to summer camp longer than we're out here."

This week's episode began with the Coyopa Tribe trying to explain to Keith why he received votes along with Dale, without specifically telling him that he was the old and racist guy that nobody liked just in case they needed him at the next vote.

While tension was riding high at Coyopa, Hunahpu received a "Tree Mail" telling them to pack up their belongings for the much anticipated merge.

The newly merged "Hoyopa" tribe was rewarded with a feast, which allowed the Hunahpu tribe to eat even more after they had plowed through their entire allotment of food in less than half of the game.

Jeremy immediately sought out Jon to form an alliance of the most physically fit players in the game, and they rounded it out with Missy, Baylor, Natalie, Julie and Jaclyn just to make sure that their physical advantage was effectively negated.

However, with Josh having protected Baylor earlier in game, Baylor felt the need to explain her position to him, or as anyone else would have called it, "outing her alliance."

Having plowed through three different husbands and run a cheerleader school, Missy was hoping that her daughter would have turned out just a little more like her and just swept Josh's leg without tipping him off.

"Baylor is 20, and sometimes she acts like she's 30, and sometimes she acts like she's 10. She has a need to please."

Sadly, before Baylor Wilson ever moved to Nashville to attend college and pursue a music career she had already been raising a child...Her mother, Missy. 

Realizing that Baylor was no longer in his alliance, Josh approached Jon and Jaclyn about the prospect of getting rid of Jeremy, which once again left Jon and Jaclyn as the swing vote in the game.

After pretending to be likable, Julie proved that she really was low enough to be John Rocker's girlfriend, as she stole some trail mix from the merger feast and hid it in her bag instead of bringing it back to the new tribe for everyone to share.

With suspicions running high, Jon went through Julie's bag and found the missing bag of trail mix.

Anybody else been waiting their whole life to see John Rocker in a see through shirt and a totally bitchin' belt clip? Yeah, me neither. 

Wes was less than pleased with Julie saying, "It's one of the most selfish things you can do in Survivor." Of course, he and the rest of the tribe ate the trail mix contraband before they confronted Julie about it.

While Julie McGee no longer had her secret stash of trail mix, at least she had her not so secret reserve of Botox and silicon to survive off of. 

The first Individual Immunity Challenge required each player to balance a ball on a platform without dropping it, with a second ball being added as time went on to make things even more difficult.

As good as Reed and Josh claimed to be at juggling balls, both were quickly eliminated. The finals came down to a father against son match-up, with Keith defeating Wes.

Back at camp, Alec kept yelling about how much he'd love some trail mix, which was an obvious jab at Julie for eating all of the M and M's.

Jeremy and Jon targeted Josh because they thought he was the only player on the other side of their alliance who was competent enough to play the game against them.

Meanwhile, Josh campaigned to split up Jon and Jaclyn since they were the most powerful "loved ones" duo left in the game.

Anticipating backlash against the couples, Jon and Jaclyn decided to turn against Jeremy so they could keep more couples in the game and take the target off of themselves.

Realizing that her new tribe had turned against her, Julie called Jeff Probst to meet with her and made up a story about being so co-dependent on John that she was unable to continue in the game since there were other couples left, and that reminded her of how she missed her racist little redneckie-poo.

Well, maybe the co-dependency thing wasn't made up, but she really was just upset because she had been caught red handed stealing food and didn't want to deal with it face to face, so she chose the easy way out, kind of like Colton Cumbie's boyfriend did.

True to form, Jeff Probst was not at all happy that somebody was voluntarily quitting the game.

And in reference to Julie's decision to walk out of the game and on her alliance, Jeff scolded, "Kids go to summer camp longer than we're out here...Because it's quite possibly a million dollar quit for someone else."

But despite Jeff Probst's anger, Julie McGee quit Survivor to go back to being John Rocker's blow up doll. 

Jeff broke the news to the rest of the players by saying, "Bad news and good news. Bad news is if you were in an alliance with Julie, you just lost a member."

The good news was for Jeremy, as Jeff announced that there would be no Tribal Council, which kept him from getting back-doored by Jon and Jaclyn.

In fact, Jeremy was so clueless about their plan that he was actually pissed at Julie for "messing up" his plans.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Blogging Survivor: San Juan del Sur - "You're so beautiful"

This week at Coyopa began with Dale angry at the rest of his tribe because his mouth ended up costing him his daughter, Kelley, who got voted out because he couldn't keep his hidden sexual tension towards Missy in his pants.

Knowing that he was Coyopa's next target, Dale showed Jon his "Immunity Idol" in order to try and stay in the game, and Jon seemed to buy it even though it was really a prosthetic.

At Hunahpu, Jeff Probst visited camp with his offer for the bag of rice that the tribe was desperate for.

"There's never been a tribe in the history of Survivor that has needed as much help as you guys have...First you lose your flint...Now you're completely out of rice and you need help again!"

Jeff noted Hunahpu's exorbitant food consumption as a reason why they've dominated the challenges thus far, and demanded a steep price to re-fill their food bag, namely their tarp, blankets, hatchet, hammer, one of their two pots, and their extra flint.

After accepting Jeff's offer, that left Hunahpu with only a machete, a single pot, and a flint, which essentially left them starting the game over.

Not everybody at Hunahpu was on board with making that trade, as Jeremy wanted to keep their comfort items in hopes of being able to bed down one of the girls since his wife had been evicted.

Unfortunately, his pleas fell on deaf ears...Especially the ears of the women.

The Reward Challenge required one person from each tribe navigate an obstacle course blindfolded, study a braille puzzle, and then take puzzle pieces back through the obstacle course to the other side and assemble the puzzle they touched from memory.

With Reed squaring off against Baylor, Jeff Probst noted how there was a "lot of head bopping into poles," which actually had nothing to do with Reed fame whoring himself out and dating Clay Aiken.

While Reed Kelly is no stranger to his head "bopping into poles," if Clay Aiken is repulsed by getting kissed by a male model type gay guys, I'm starting to wonder exactly what he's into.

Reed ended up winning for Hunahpu, which sent Baylor to Exile Island along with Natalie, who volunteered to go along in hopes of gaining some goodwill in the event of a merge.

I'm wondering, are Natalie and her sister Nadiya smokers?

While Hunahpu ended up winning a feast as a result of the Reward Challenge, they also had to deal with a rain storm without a tarp or any real shelter of any sorts, making Jeremy a prophet of sorts.

The Immunity Challenge required the tribes scale a wall, push a huge cube over to posts and grab bags of puzzle pieces, and then solve that puzzle.

Hunahpu ended up coming from behind to win, sending Coyopa to Tribal Council once again.

Before Tribal Council Dale told Jon that if he didn't get voted out he'd give him his Immunity Idol, which was in fact fake, in order to get Missy out.

Jon told Missy and Baylor of Dale's offer, who wanted to split the votes between Dale and Keith 3-2 in order to make sure that Dale went home.

However, Jon and Jaclyn were still undecided about how to vote, and wanted to make their decision on who they could trust going forward.

In the end, Jon didn't fall for Dale's fake Idol trick, and Dale was voted out 3-2 pursuant to Missy and Baylor's plan, much to his dismay.

Jon must have been feeling it as well, because he leaned over to his Miss Michigan girlfriend (the real Miss Michigan, not his hand...Because that would have been weird) and said, "You're so beautiful."

Say what you want about Jon Misch, but the dude's not a liar...Jaclyn Schultz is beautiful.

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Blogging Survivor: San Juan del Sur - "Another conversation? This ought to be good."

While Coyopa began this week's episode coming off of their first Immunity Challenge victory, at Hunahpu, Jon was left scrambling after his closest ally, Drew, was blindsided.

Don't worry for Jon Misch too much though, Sparty usually has a way of  persevering. 

Upon arriving at the Immunity Challenge, Coyopa also seemed shocked that Drew was voted out.

And when Jeff Probst asked Baylor why she looked so shocked that Drew was voted out she responded, "I thought that Drew was Mr. Popular," which caused most of the Hunahpu Tribe to break out laughing.

Drew Christy: Rule number one, male models are never, ever popular...That is, except for Gisele Bundchen.

However, the big surprise came when Jeff told the contestants to drop their buffs and prepare for a re-draw of the tribes.

The new Hunahpu Tribe saw boyfriends Reed and Josh land together, along with Wes, Alec, Jeremy, Julie and Natalie.

Coyopa landed three sets of loved ones with Jon and Jaclyn, Kelley and Dale, Missy and Baylor, as well as Keith, who astutely noted, "I know that's not good Jeff."

Reed and Josh decided to sneak off in order to have sex, as did Kelley and Dale.

Actually, Josh informed the audience that he and Reed had decided to remain abstinent until they get married, which meant that they just did each other up the ass, kind of like teenage girls do these days so they can still call themselves "virgins."

...And in Reed Kelly and Josh Canfield's case, they just might end up being "virgins" for life.

Jon and Jaclyn had no shortage of PDA with one another after being reunited on Coyopa.

Baylor admitted that she was a little jealous, but in a non-bitchy kind of way.

"I'm totally jealous, I'm sitting here single, twenty...My mom's made her share of mistakes. She's been married three times, and divorced three times. My time will come, my mom's next time will come," as she broke out laughing.

After Missy helped exhaust Hunahpu's food supply, she immediately came over to Coyopa and began cooking up an extra large batch of rice, which pissed Dale off, especially since he was already at odds with her daughter Baylor.

Kelley did her best to calm her dad down before he lost his shit.

"Missy plays that sweet mom role, but she can be a bit of a diva, while my dad is a small town hardworking farm man, and he doesn't deal with that kind of stuff."

Or as Dale said, "She's a self centered bossy bitch." Hmm...Do I smell a love connection?!?

The old Coyopa players arrived at Hunahpu and quickly realized that the old tribe had essentially devoured all of their food.

Or as Josh said, "There were some very fool hearty players on this side. It's very very frustrating," mainly referring to Missy and Drew, who apparently liked to eat two big meals a day before he was voted out.

The Immunity Challenge was set up as a race for each tribe to dig up a bag with keys, crawl through a huge mud pit, open a gate and shake down twenty sandbags from a pole, and then toss ten of those bags onto a wobbly platform.

Hunahpu ended up winning easily, tossing all of their bags before Coyopa even made it to their platform, which, by yet another technicality, allowed Josh Canfield and Reed Kelly to claim that they're still abstinent.

Reminiscent of Immunity Challenges past, Reed wanted to barter with Jeff Probst saying, "Jeff, when you get a sec we'd like to talk to you please."

That caused Jeff to sigh, "Another conversation? This ought to be good."

And with Reed informing him that their tribe was in dire straits when it came to their food supply, Jeff informed them that he would get back with them after Tribal Council, but warned them that any trade would not come cheap.

Heading into Tribal Council, Kelley and Dale, who were on the outs with Baylor and Missy, approached Jon and Jaclyn about working together.

Dale even did his best to kiss Jon and Jaclyn's asses saying, "We got your back Michigan."

And when Dale spoke up at Tribal Council and declared, "To be perfectly honest, they're (Jon and Jaclyn) the hottest couple in camp right now," Baylor joined in the love fest saying, "They're the hottest couple, period."

In the end, Jon and Jaclyn decided that it was in their best interest to work with Baylor and Missy, and Kelley was voted out, which left her father Dale steaming as he headed back to camp alone.

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Blogging Survivor: San Juan del Sur - "So basically I'm a badass, the manipulator of this game."

Coyopa began this week's episode as the happiest tribe to ever return from Tribal Council, mainly because they were able to vote John Rocker out of the game.

After Hunahpu had to give up their reward of fishing gear to get fire back after losing their flint two weeks ago, Natalie found it in the sand right next to their fire pit.

That caused Reed to say, "I didn't feel like we were that dumb to leave it in the fire pit."

...Which caused me to ask, "Why were Reed Kelly and Hunahpu so dumb that they didn't even think to dig through their fire pit for their flint before crying to Jeff Probst and having to give up their reward?" And more importantly, "Is this how Reed Kelly met his ex, Clay Aiken?"

At the Reward Challenge, the news that John Rocker had been voted out by Coyopa was met by applause from Hunahpu.

Better yet, Drew informed Jeff Probst that they had found their flint, and had the balls to ask him if they could trade it for half of the fishing gear that they had traded away for their second flint.

And when Jeff pretended to entertain that offer, Jon Misch laughed it off by saying, "I feel like you're taunting us," to which Jeff replied, "I am taunting you, put the flint back, you made the trade."

The Reward Competition itself required one competitor to use a grappling hook to retrieve three bags of balls, and then use a catapult to launch balls into five different baskets.

With the winner getting a choice between comfort supplies like blankets and pillows  or food for a grill out, Jon Misch squared off against his girlfriend, Jaclyn.

In a closer than expected contest between an ex D-I football player and a pageant queen, Jon came from behind to win and sent Jaclyn to Exile Island.

He also chose Drew to join her there, who would have been the last person I would have sent to spend the night alone with my girlfriend.

Even though Jaclyn Schultz rejected him, I'm pretty sure that Drew Christy will still tell his friends that spent the night with "Miss Michigan."

Or as Drew noted, "I've got a pretty Miss Michigan chick out here, but I'm not out here looking for love, definitely not with one of my buddies' girl," as he blatantly stared at her ass when she bent over.

Fortunately for John, Jaclyn laughed after she recalled how Drew's brother had warned her that Drew was a "ladies man."

Keith used his clue, but still couldn't find the Hidden Immunity Idol for Hunahpu.

That left Keith convinced him that Jeremy had already found it after he returned from Exile Island a week earlier, and he told that to anyone who would listen to him.

When news got back to Jeremy, he was pissed that Keith had put him on the spot without even asking him.

Sure enough, Keith kept looking, and then found Hunahpu's Idol. And like any racist from Louisiana, he didn't apologize to Jeremy, or tell anyone else.

The Immunity Challenge required the teams to swim out to and dive off a platform one-by-one to retrieve a floating ring, and then swim back with it so other team members could toss those rings onto a target.

Drew insisted on tossing the rings for Coyopa, and then proceeded to fuck up the challenge, which gave Coyopa their first win.

Of course, Drew had said that he was going to throw the challenge after he arrived from Exile Island so he could "get rid of some of the snakes."

Feeling pretty good about himself, like all wanna be male models do, Drew said, "So basically I'm a bad ass, the manipulator of this game."

After getting voted out Drew Christy said, "I'm obviously a physically and sexual threat to the them (referring to the girls)."

And when he said "getting rid of some of the snakes," Drew decided that the person who needed to go was Kelley, since she was "low key and very observant," just like most snakes.

Of course, nobody else seemed to be on board with that plan, and Jeremy even called him out in front of the rest of the tribe.

Forgetting that she was too fat to be a girl, Natalie proposed that the girls should consider getting rid of Drew.

She then took her plan to Jeremy who said, "Yeah, he's a moron, but that's a big move."

On the other hand, Jeremy wanted to get rid of Keith for personal reasons, even though John also wanted to get rid of his friend Drew.

Socially unaware, Drew rallied the guys by saying, "I'm telling you, let's get Kelley out tonight, and then all these bitches don't know what to do other than come to us. Trust me guys," not even noticing that Kelley was standing right next to him.

At Tribal Council, Jeremy called out Keith for insinuating that he had the Hidden Immunity Idol without even asking him about it first considering that they were supposed to be in an alliance together.

And while Keith tried to downplay what he had told the rest of the tribe, Natalie confirmed that Keith didn't say "I think, he said, 'I tell ya one thing, Jeremy got that Idol.'"

However, like a true manipulator of the game Drew got voted out, which was funny considering that he threw the Immunity Challenge to get rid of some of the snakes...Fortunately for us, he did!